I truly appreciate all the input. In fact, I spent another all-nighter getting to know X-Plane a little more (in the light of this forum "Intervention" from you guys

).
I was finally able to master the autopilot, but only in the Beechcraft Twin (after I fell in love with the gorgeous 3d cockpit), and that mitigated a lot of the frustration of above issues (torque roll, trimming issues, hyper sensitivity, etc.). Yes, I know I can't fly with the autopilot as my primary control input, but this way I can play with mastering one axis at a time. I also believe I got closer to the sweet spot with the joystick settings (based mainly on Keith's recommendations, and others around the web). So let's say that the controls are... under control.
Remaining concerns....
I still haven't found a Cessna that I was truly happy with (visuals & controls), and I've tried all of the products mentioned above, except for the Carenado (yet). I guess I could revert back to the default 172, create keyboard mappings for the missing panel autopilot settings, and just display those values on screen. I like the flexibility of the keyboard mapping, so I guess that could work. More testing needed here.
I know I'm sounding neurotic, but now my biggest is now about the scenery... or lack thereof. I know this is a tired old subject, but there's no BlueSky for X-Plane, I couldn't find a payware package for SoCal, and Daddy O's
links all seem to be about airport scenery.....
I watched Mark's VFR PE Workshop 3
flight from KMYF to KRNM the other day, and I just can't imagine doing this in X-Plane with the default scenery (by the way, I noticed that he didn't

). Obviously, this is not such a big issue for IFR flying, but I don't the idea of limiting myself to just mountains, roads and lakes when it comes to having VFR clues. The Sectionals are so rich with golf courses, stadiums, etc., and it seems a shame to not be able to leverage those visual clues as well.
In summary, I can live with - and perhaps even embrace - the X-Plane flight model and controls. But when it comes to VFR flying, I'll fear that I'll always be in search of something more.
I wish I could get past all this. I really do. I'd love to be able to say "the tool is just a means to an end", but since the simulator is the foundation that makes mastering ATC interaction and flight planning/navigation possible (the things that I really enjoy), then I do need to figure this all out.
[I'm conscious of the fact that this discussion may help other MSFS veterans who are grappling with the X-Plane learning curve, which is the primary reason that I'm trying to cover all the bases, as well as see it through to closure for myself - but thanks again for indulging me

]