Chances are, it's a port forwarding issue on your router. Most people aren't aware, but your computer isn't directly reachable from the internet. All of your devices (Wi-fi enabled phones, iPads, Tivos, PC's, Macs, latops and any other internet-connected devices) are on a private, internal network behind your router. The router is the ONLY device directly addressable from the internet (ie, it has a valid, reachable IP address).
The IP addresses of your internal devices are typically 192.168.x.x, which is for use on private, internal networks. For example, my PC might have an IP address of 192.168.1.100, and SO MIGHT YOURS. The reason this doesn't cause a problem (ie, packets destined for my computer ending up on your machine) is because those addresses are never exposed outside of your private network. When you make a connection to the outside world, your router uses Network Address Translation (NAT) to hide your internal IP and forward the packets to the internet using the ROUTER's IP address. When information is arrives at your router from the outside world, it is forwarded back to your PC, using your internal IP.
This works well when YOUR computer fired the first salvo in the first place, ie. initiated the connection. However, in shared cockpit mode, you need to be able to receive information from an external machine (ie, the other guy you're trying to fly with) without having sent him any information yet.
For this to happen, you need to do 2 things, both are critical:
1) you need to provide that person with the EXTERNAL IP address of your ROUTER (not 192.168.1.1, which is typically the internal address of your router). You can obtain this address by going to a site such as
http://whatismyipaddress.com
2) you need to set up PORT FORWARDING on your router to send any incoming packets which arrive on a specific port (the ports used by Smart Copilot) to your PC. To do that, you'll need your computer's IP address (typically, 192.168.1.x). You can get that in Windows by opening a dos prompt and typing 'ipconfig'.
With all of this in place, assuming you don't have any firewall configured on your computer, you should be good to go.